Monday, August 24, 2020

Gdsaf

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I thought that all of the essays had their own way of describing as individual, but the one that stuck out the most was "Father", by Jan Gray. Even though the story was so sad as to even be call disturbing, there was something that makes the reader keeps reading, and intensely at that. The book talks about naming, detailing and comparing and I think that Jan did a really good job with the use of powerful adjectives. Just in the first paragraph she uses words like "grotesque", "massive", "scaly", and "reddish" to simply describe his hands. The detailing she does about her father really does tell how she feels about him, in addition to his appearance and manner. In the second paragraph, when she goes on to tell about his appearance as a whole and something about his personality, it almost sounds like she is describing how much of a disappointment he is to her.


When she begins telling about the cleaning process in his apartment, she talks about how he has no regard for himself or his health. In the fourth paragraph she even says, "as I made my way through the debris toward the bedroom, I tried to deny that the man who lived here was my father." She describes the room as pretty much appalling and seeing that caused her to have a flashback to where she remembered an incident with her father a few months prior.


The discussion she had with her father on the phone turned from sweet (which she was not used to) to sour quite fast. Once she had seen what he had done to her room, her manner switched from fear of what would happen to her, to anger about what had happened to her.


When she had reflected about her flashback, she realized that she had not only disgust for him, as she put it, but pure resentment. I do find, however, that her ambivalence at the end is almost ironic. Even though she could not condone his actions or the way he chose to live his life, she could not help but love him because of who he was, her father.


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