Tuesday, May 18, 2021

Otherness Experience

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For the past two weeks I have been volunteering at South Bethlehem's Neighborhood after school program. For an hour and 15 minutes 4 days a week, I helped elementary school kids with their homework. The experience has been quite rewarding as well as challenging. My initial reaction was culture shock, since most of the children are Hispanic or Black. Most of them can speak Spanish, and some of them can only speak Spanish. I am the youngest person in my family and I have not been around elementary school kids since I think I was in grade school. Walking into this classroom definitely brought me back to my childhood. Being the youngest I can remember my mom help my brother with his homework and actually wanting homework of my own to do. Call me a big nerd but I thought homework was fun in elementary school, fun stories and coloring books is all I remember. I had forgotten about the frustrations and difficulties I had learning grammar, spelling, and basic math skills like times tables.


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Watching these kids struggle to complete these simple tasks made me think about how different their home life is from mine. Some of these kids should be in 5th grade, but are stuck in nd or rd. I sat there racking my brains trying to find ways to break concepts down and show one little boy how to figure out times 8 without writing +++++++. I finally remembered the tables rule that every product has digits that add up to . It helped him figure out problems faster. I think I learn a great deal about patience and realizing that not everyone always understands what you're talking about. That some kids don't understand and are afraid to say they don't know so they keep quiet and never figure it out. You have to think of different ways of explaining things. For example, one Spanish girl asked me what the word, "rolls" meant. I was at a loss for words; all I could do was motion rolls like a bowling ball, rolls. It was strange because when you're the older one, youre suppose to be all knowing, and everything you say is taken as the right answer, you are the beholder of the truth. I never had anyone look up to me that way, and put so much trust in what I said. I have always learned from others growing up the youngest. It was weird to think others were learning from me. I had to remember all the little grammar tricks, like "change the y to an i and add es for pluralizing words that end in y and i before e except after c.


Another issue I encountered was being the enforcer. It was easy to get off track and play with these kids. It was easy to listen to them go on and on about their friends or family. It was hard to say ok, you need to do your homework. I wanted them to like me; I didn't want to be the spoiler of fun. It was hard to take away toys or other distractions and make them work on their assignments. I remember being a little procrastinator in my day. The last thing I wanted to do was sit still and practice my cursive.


With some kids it was harder then others to get them to listen or pay attention. There were signs of ADHD all over the place. The first day I sat at a table with a boy whose only homework was to write 1 sentences with simple words like, try, cry, fry, sky…etc. He had trouble keeping on task, he was involved with everyone else's homework and conversations but his own. He looked around, starred off into space, played with a plastic cup. I ignored him until he called out, "I'm telling cuz youre not helping me!" I responded with, "I would if you take that cup off of your mouth." Finally, I took the cup away from him and he threw a fit. He put his head down and pretended to cry and whine about his cup. He kept reaching across the table for it and I didn't give into his negative attention seeking tactics. I told him that I would give it back to him when he finished a sentence. I ignored the rest of his whining. Soon enough he finished his sentence, and then got on a roll and did 5 more sentences. Though they were very elementary and all similar, I was glad he was as least trying to write them. He got them done and I praised him for doing accomplishing so much without distractions. I still had his cup, which he had forgotten about. Next to me was an interesting character, a no more then year old black boy with a motor mouth. He was the main cause of the other little boy's distractions, it took me forever to get him to finish the rest of his homework. When it was time to go, I gave him his book and he said no, I have to finish these, and I was like yes you do. And very quickly he wrote his last 4 sentence. It was a trying event but he finished his homework


The motor mouth kid was hysterical to watch but definitely more then a handful. He would not even tell me his name. They say that videogame and movie violence don't influence kids…but I witnessed just how much it did. This child was gangster in the making. He could not have been more then a 4th grader, but he was talking a mile per minute on and on about beating people up, about beating teachers up. How his momma would beat anyone up for him and slap kids who where out to stab him. He told stories about how his brother would street race and how cool it was because one time he got to ride with him. I knew most of his stories were embellished and probably not even remotely true. I was exhausted just listening to this kid. How he didn't care about hurting others and how he gets angry and frustrated and wants needs to beat something up. He speaks like he has street smarts, like he could get good grades. I asked him what he wanted to be when he grew up and he said, a cardiologist. He was refusing to do a book assignment and I told him, you know you have to read a lot of books if you want to be a cardiologist, do you even know what a cardiologist is? I let him ramble on about video games and movies, trying to gain his trust. I know I was not going to get him to do his homework but at least I could do was give him a chance. I know many of these kids come from big families and they do not get enough one on one attention so I tried to give them as much of my attention as possible. I think if I show interest in them and listen to what they say, then they'll feel like someone cares. They might make more effort because someone believes in them. It's amazing how showing the slightest bit of encouragement, like "good job, see, you can do it, way to go, awesome," can light up these kids. For example, Marquis is a eight year old black boy, who would not write his sentences. I asked him why not, and he kept replying, "I can't!, I can't!" He sat and pouted with his shirt over his head. I being the artist, picked up some crayons and made him a card that read, Marquis writes the best sentences! Please write more! I gave it to him and asked him if he could read it to me. It took him awhile to sound it out but he smiled when he understood what it said. Still distracted by other kids, he wasn't writing his sentences, until I told him I was going to be upset, since I made him the card, then he decided to knock them out. All he needed was some positive reinforcement and a guilt trip.


Most of the same kids come back day after day and are so happy to see you that I think it will be hard to stop coming back next week. Time really flies bye and I really enjoyed spending time with these kids. I think this was a great experience for me and I would like to continue to help out these kids for the rest of the school year.


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