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Today's society has taught our youth to question everything, from authority to nature. Yet according to Barna research, all they want is to be held accountable and to have someone actually listen to what they say. Yet as a society we are willing to back down, give up, or even ignore them as they are trying to tell us because we want to "save face." Jack, from St. Louis said, Parents are the number one influence in his life but they are too willing to back down on what they say if someone questions what the outcome will be. When asked what he meant he said too many times he has asked to go do something with his friends and he is told know his parents will change their mind because they don't want him to sit at home bored while his friends are out.
Parents almost seem to be trying so hard to understand what there teens are going through that they forget they need someone to hold them accountable too. Just because teens argue with their parents doesn't mean they don't like them or they don't respect them it just means they don't understand where the parent is coming from and want to.
Junior from South Carolina said that his peers have more to do with decisions and things that affect him than his parents. He would rely on his peers to choose what position he holds on subjects before what his parents' thinks but he still respects his parents. He thinks the media has a lot to do with decisions he makes but he would ask his friends what they think before anyone else.
According to Barna research, Peers Parents and media are the top three things influencing teens today. Peers are more apt to have influence on teens regarding religion, what school sports or even what a teens is willing to experiment in. Statistics show that teens are more apt to go to church that their friends go to than one that they don't know anyone at. More teens try drugs for the first time at parties where their friends are encouraging them to experiment. For a young girl she is more likely to lose her virginity to a young boy that has already had sex with at least two other girls. With or without pressuring girls are more likely to try things when their boyfriends say they wouldn't tell them to try something this is bad for them. Young men are more willing to do something when other guys are around them encouraging them to try it, even so they don't get think of as a "chicken". Teens are more likely to listen to their friends than their parents but they do listen to their parents.
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Yet still parents have more of an influence on teens than they think. Most teens listen to what their parents think but don't always include that in their decision making process but they do listen. Jared from Stockton said it almost seems like parents often think they shouldn't butt in their teens life because they don't want them to feel like they are not able to make decisions for themselves. But teens want their parents to butt in just not rule over them. He went on to say that if only he felt like he could talk to his parents about the mistakes they made me may not have made the same mistakes over and over again. When asked what he thought of parents not holding him to a higher standard as they did his older brother. He said he almost wished they would have raised the bar even higher because he saw the things his brother did but it was like his parents gave him permission to make the same mistakes because they lowered the bar for him. It was like they were tired of saying no so they just stopped talking about important things.
The third thing that influences what teens say and do the media including movies, music and video games. More teens have been hurt or killed while trying to repeat stunts they have seen on a movie released by MTV that depicts two young people lighting themselves on fire, getting run over by cars or even hitting themselves on the head with a hammer. Yet teens think this is funny. And Parents don't even know that there teens are watching movies like this. Parents don't know what is in their own homes anymore, said Tim Zuniga while talking about the influence that music has on teens. According to research teens that were given a list of 54 coping options including alcohol, praying and yoga teens chose music as the number one coping option. Sex and violence is imbedded in today's society and parents today don't even realize it.
In youth ministry seminar class with special guest Eli Lopez, youth pastor at Christian Life Center, we were given the key to having a successful youth ministry and that is Love! Loving a teen when no one else does. Sometimes we are so willing to give up on teens when they mess up or fail us but how often have we failed God and he still loves us. He said today that sarcasm always affects someone. Until you can prove to a young person that you love them you cant expect them to respect you. If you can win one teenager with love you can influence their whole world.
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