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Until I was four years old, life was great. I had the ideal family and home. We had our daily routine and stuck with it. Everything was just how it should be. I have one picture of my brother, mom, dad and I that was taken during that time. To me, it is not just a snap shot. It represents a time in my life where my family was whole and complete.
The picture was taken in our quiet, comfortable, little home in the suburbs. All four of us were piled on the love seat. Sunshine poured in through the large window behind us. My dad had one arm around my mom and the other was holding me. My older brother, James, had a seat on my mom's lap. James and I had huge, honest grins on our faces. We were probably laughing about something when the picture was taken. Our parents were both watching us, smiling and full of pride. The photo is like a puzzle. If you remove any of the pieces, it just isn't the same.
When my parents decided to get a divorce, my perfect little world was shattered. Our family was literally ripped in half. My brother and I moved to Washington with my mom, while my dad had to stay in California because of his job. We went from seeing our dad all day to seeing him only during the summers. My mom, who used to stay home and play with us all day, was suddenly working a full-time shift and stressing over bills. I kept that picture in my room, constantly reminding me of how our lives used to be. I wanted so badly just to hop back in, and forget about all of my problems. I was furious with my parents for getting a divorce, when all it did was make everybody sad. It took years for me to stop hoping and realize that things would never be the same.
Now that I am older, I look at that picture when I am stressed out or depressed. Instead of making me sad, it cheers me up to see all of us together. Our goofy grins give me a burst of positive energy, and make me feel a little happier, like we all used to be.
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