Monday, March 1, 2021

A life of strong conviction

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Word Count 8


A Life of Strong Convictions


I remember so vividly the events that took place that day. I was awoken by the rude sunlight seeping through my shades. I started my daily routine by taking my morning shower. Once I was done, I called my mother.


"Efrain's car broke down again so Katrina is going to pick me up." I informed her.


"That's fine, have you heard from any schools yet?" she asked.


"Nope not yet, but I should soon."


"Okay well have a good day and keep me posted."


"Okay Mom I'll let you know. I love you."


"I love you too."


As I hung up the phone I heard Katrina honking the horn. I remember calling her cell-phone to ask her what she was wearing before I picked out my clothes. I don't know why it was always such an issue for me to get other people's opinions before I made a decision. I got ready quickly throwing on an old t-shirt and some tattered jeans. I slipped into my sandals, grabbed my books, and I was well on my way.


I opened the door only to find the day even hotter and more humid than the day before. I walked down the passageway to the driveway, still wet from the night before. I opened the car door to her yellow mustang and got in. Katrina was my best friend since the ninth grade. She always got good grades and was always so sure of herself. I was often jealous of her confidence. I'm not sure how it came up or why but we started talking about college again. She started ranting about her acceptance to UCF and here I hadn't even heard from them yet. Unlike Katrina,


I really wasn't sure where I wanted to go either. She got annoyed that I still hadn't decided but I insisted that she help me.


"Please Kat", I pleaded, "Please help me figure this out."


"What do you want me to tell you, Stef?"


"I don't know, what do I do?" I questioned.


"As corny as this sounds, you seriously just need to follow your heart. You need to think about what it is that you want."


"I think I want to go away." I exclaimed.


She turned to me with a confused look.


"So then what's the problem?" she questioned me.


The answer to that question was unknown even by me. We arrived at school ten minutes late as we usually did when Katrina picked me up. I hurried down the empty hallways saying goodbye to her. I was in a daze for the remainder of the day. I thought about what she told me and tried figuring out what was better for me. Going away for school was seemingly the better choice but I was still not absolutely sure.


When school was over I walked home with Efrain, my boyfriend, as I normally did. He was talking about his car as usual but I was more focused on the mailboxes ahead of me. I stared at them unable to bear the heat any longer. I arrived at my house checking the mailbox even though I knew my grandfather had already gotten the mail as he did every morning. I made my way to my room to check my status online and that's when I saw the letters.


So many feelings filled my body at that moment. I felt panicked yet ecstatic, I felt hectic yet entirely relieved. There they were, two manila colored envelopes thrown onto my dusty desk.


I decided I'd wait for Efrain to go home before I opened them. Once he left, I sat in my messy room for what seemed like an eternity, tears streaming down my sunburned cheeks due to my confusion. I ripped open the letters one at a time and was relieved to know I had been accepted to both UCF and FIU. Then all of the feelings came back. My next move was unknown. Focusing on what it was that I wanted I started to calm down.


The night was hot and humid. My family was gathering around the dinner table in celebration of my grandfather's birthday. I'm not quite sure why I was so scared to tell them but I prepared myself and announced my decision. Contrary to what I thought, they couldn't be happier with my choice to go away for school. They knew that was the wiser choice for me.


For as long as I can remember I have never made a decision and been entirely happy with the results. My whole life I have let people influence me and at the age of 16 I was fed up with jumping back and forth between thoughts of whether the decision I made was right or wrong. I can joyously express that when I make choices now, I am sure of them. Never before have I been more confident than I am today. Choosing to go to the University of Central Florida was one of the best choices I have ever made.


Going away for college instilled a sense of responsibility in me that forced me to make decisions without the assistance of others. At first I was reluctant to accept this responsibility but I realize now the importance of doing so. I no longer waste my time at a constant battle with myself. I can confidently declare that a life of strong convictions is the life I choose to live. That choice was made entirely on my part and I am confident that choice is the best one I have made yet.


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