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At age 16, the relationship between my family and I progressed profoundly. Before then, there was hardly any communication, let alone a relationship. How does a nurturing relationship occur between parent and child?
In Amy Tan's novel, The Joy Luck Club she explores the relationships of four mothers and daughters. In the relationship between Ying-ying St Clair and her daughter Lena, the mother tries to teach her daughter the value of self worth. Tan tells us the story of Ying Ying's earlier abusive marriage in China in order to connect her past experiences with Lena's.
When Ying-ying was sixteen she attended her aunts wedding and met a guy who soon became her future husband. At that precise point in time he was drunk, and in his state of mind he attracted Ying-ying by plunging a knife into a watermelon. I think the raw act was evocative of taking a girls virginity. When the man wooed her with words of love and flattery it wasn't long before young Ying-ying fell in love with him. Shortly afterwards, Ying-ying married him. She was miserable and her marriage was a disaster. She soon found out that the man of her dreams was that of her nightmare also. When she became pregnant, her husband left her for another woman. Ying-ying was devastated. She felt she had no choice but to have an abortion. But the abandonment by her husband, followed by the abortion, however left Ying-ying with deep emotionally scars. As a result of this, she moved to Shanghai to live with her cousins and spent ten years being poor. She then left her cousins, moved to the city, and got a job, trying to erase her past.
However, while she was in Shanghai, she met an American man by the name of Clifford St. Clair. He dated her for a profound number of years, but Ying-ying would not marry him. Then, she heard that her first husband was dead, she said yes to Clifford's proposal and moved to America with him. Soon after, she gave birth to Lena. .
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When Ying-ying visited Lena and Harold in their home, she judged it to be overpriced and poorly built. Although one would of loved to acquire Lena's modern and comfortable life-style, she failed to make a favorable impact on Ying-ying. Although she was put into a fashionable guest bedroom, Ying-ying was upset because the room was small; the Chinese custom was to give the guest the best room in the house. She also believed that the house was so poorly constructed that it was going to fall down.
During her visit, Ying-ying sees quite clearly that her daughter was unhappy in her marriage. She also realized that Harold is too busy and self-centered to notice Lena's misery. Ying-ying knew that her daughter was suffering a fate that she suffered many years prior. Ying-ying knew that if she did not do something about Lena's miserable marriage, she would of been scared. She did not want Lena to have the same kind of scars she had. Ying-ying admits to the reader that she was a rebellious girl from a rich family. She compared her youthful self to a tigressfull of fire and heat; she was "waiting between the trees" to pounce on something she liked. This time she wanted to pounce on the opportunity to provoke some positive action into her daughter. She could not bear to see her daughter living in such despair.
Lena could always see that her mom was depressed, dead even though alive (in a matter of speaking). Similarly, Lena too was faced with trials and tribulations in her marriage. Not only was she not receiving any respect from her husband but no love from him as well. Her mother acknowledged the apparent problem and tells her daughter to leave him and never come back if she didn't get what she wanted from him. Later on, she did leave and found the happiness she was seeking. With her mothers guidance Lena found a way to cut her spirit loose as her mother once did for her own.
In conclusion, I have discussed the relationship between Ying-ying and her daughter Lena. Both in which endured a great deal of turmoil in their marriages and overcame the suffering during their journey of self-discovery to become stronger women towards the end.
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